The hospital bag

Well now that you have read all about the birth of my son maybe I should move on to some of the things I really wanted to use this blog for. Although to be honest I'm sure I will blog about random things now and again. 

For the hospital bag I was so worried I would not bring something I should or too much stuff. I talked to people and read things online. I brought everything they said to bring. Clothes to wear in the hospital after I had the baby, shampoo, conditioner, a razor and so on. To be honest most we didn't use. I say an outfit for you to come home in and slippers while your there. I brought clothes to wear after I had the baby but to be honest and gross I was bleeding so bad I didn't want to ruin them so I wore the hospital gown. 

One thing I was told to make sure I brought was a nursing bra, as I did plan to nurse. I bought a nursing bra which doesn't fit any more cause after I had him and started nursing my boobs got even bigger. I didn't wear one or anything under the hospital gown but I didn't mind not wearing one. If you want something bring a sports bra or a tank that has the bra thing built in. As far as nursing someone also told us to bring the nursing pillow. I tried to use it once while I was there but really did not need to bring it at all. 

As far as your own shower stuff the hospitals isn't great but really your probably only going to take one shower at the hospital. It might not really be worth it to take your own for one shower. At least I wish I wouldn't have wasted my money on travel stuff for the one shower when I could have just used theirs. 

My husband is a diabetic so we brought food for him but snacks for dad would be ideal in case it's long and he's starving, he wont have to leave the room.  My room was freezing so a blanket and warm clothes for the hubby would be a good idea. Side note if the room is too cold ask them if you can turn the temp up we learned the last day that we could have adjusted the temperature.

If you have an iPad or laptop I would bring it. I was in the hospital for four days after I had the baby and I couldn't always sleep when he was. Babies sleep a lot and we did not always have a lot of visitors so it helped us pass the time. 

These are things that I wish I would have known and realized. Everyone has to take and do what is best for them. I'm sure I am forgetting some stuff to so if you have a question and would like to ask please leave a comment and I will let you know. 

Delivery day

I should let you know by sleep I mean I was able to close my eyes and rest. My husband did get some sleep but it wasn't good sleep. I was walking up having contractions every few minuets. I text my mom and my sister in the am asking them to come up so my husband could get some good sleep. He was so tired at this point I was squeezing his hand during contractions and he was sleeping through them. No no there is no reason to bad mouth him or be mad. It was understandable be had been up on and off for two days with no good sleep.

Finally they got to the point that I was crying again and saying I couldn't do it. The shift change of the nurses had happened and it was time for them to check me again. When they did I wanted to crawl off the bed. It hurt so bad. The nurse asked me if it really hurt that bad. I told her yes and she said that's not suppose to hurt that bad with the epidural. She called the anesthesiologist and said that I might need a new one put it.

After the nurse talked to the anesthesiologist he came in to talk to me and my husband. It was agreed that the best thing at this point would be to put in a new epidural. I was still only at 9 centimeters. Once the new epidural was in I was finally understanding why people said they were wonderful. I was so thankful to the new anesthesiologist. I remember saying "honey I'm sorry but today Dr Frank is my hero."

I can't remember if my mom showed up before or after the new epidural was in but I remember she was there so my husband could go get some food and she kept telling me it was okay to sleep. I finally got some good sleep. I could no longer feel any of the contractions. My husband and mom told me that the nurse kept coming in to check on me but I was asleep.

Around the same time my magnesium sulfate levels had gotten too high so they had to stop it for now. I was told I would have to be put back on it for 24 hours after delivery.

Around 12:45 they came back in to check on me. The resident told us that I was still at 9 centimeters and that he still had not dropped down any farther. A few minuets later one of the doctors came in to check me also. I told her they just checked and I was still only at 9 centimeters. She told me she wanted to check also. I couldn't feel anything when they checked me now because of the new epidural so I didn't mind as much. She said I had gotten to just rim but wanted me to push because the baby was not dropping. I pushed and she said the baby was not going to come out naturally that they were going to have to do a c section. My husband asked how long. We were told we would have a baby by 2pm.

After waiting for a little bit they got my husband his scrubs and he got changed. We had to wait a little longer than expected because another lady went into active labor and the doctor had to deliver her baby. We were wheeled back to the o.r. My husband had to wait outside as they got me ready. I
remember I kept asking them where he was. At this point I really was fighting very hard to stay awake. They had give me some stronger pain meds in the epidural for the c section and it was making me sleepy.

Finally husband was in the room and the next thing I knew I could hear our son crying and them showing him to me. My husband went over to cut the umbilical cord and then came back. I felt terrible I just wanted to sleep. I was so tired I fought it though and didn't give in. I did rest while they were closing me up. Before I left the o.r. I was asked if I could move my legs and I could. They were a little shocked and said I wouldn't be in recovery for very long. I basically was only in there long enough for them to start the magnesium sulfate back up and for the baby to eat.

He was born at 2:08pm, seven pounds three ounces and 21.5 inches long on May 30th.

When we got back to our room, (a different one from the start) my mom was there waiting for us. She was so excited. Shortly after my sister showed up. At some point after my sister and mom left, my husbands family came up. I am not really sure when or how long anyone was there. I was exhausted and the magnesium sulfate was making me hot and not feel good.

What they don't tell you is that the magnesium sulfate is awful. The worst. I was in a room set at about 60 with a fan blowing on me and I was still so hot. They would put wash cloths on me that had been in ice water and they would instantly be hot. Although I haven't gotten to the day after his delivery I will keep telling you about the magnesium sulfate. The next morning after his delivery I started to have blurry vision, and thought I was going crazy. I was itchy and I felt like I was freaking out. I wanted to cry, scream, flip out it was not fun. After begging them to take me off of it they did reduce the dose and all the crazy side affects started to go away minus the being super hot.

Epidural are you there

About three hours later a friend had stopped in to see me and my husband went out to talk to her boyfriend for a little while. During the time she was there the pain started again. She had to text my husband to come back in the room. When he got back they called the nurse and she came in and then called the doctor to come check me. I'm not sure why but once again this set off the pain even more. It's a pain that really can not be described. I kept telling my husband and the nurse that I couldn't do it. I could feel the contractions and my left hip hurt so bad I could not get comfy at all. I tried moving very which way nothing seemed to make it go away. The nurse called the anesthesiologist and they came to check me. Mean while there was a lot of me crying and telling them that I couldn't do it. Thankfully the nurse and my husband were great and helped me get through the minuets until doctor could come check the epidural.

When the doctor finally arrived (I say finally because to me if felt like a life time) they checked and I could feel the cold again. What I mean by this as I don't think I explained before, is they take an ice cube and put it on your legs and belly. With the epidural you should be able to tell they are touching you but not that it is cold. Again they bolised me and I was able to calm down and relax some. The pain in my hip went away.

Around three a.m. I told my husband I was starting to feel a lot of pressure and that it was starting to hurt again. He called the nurse to have her come in to check on me. (I'm not really sure how those nurses do it as I felt like we called her into our room all the time that night) She came into ask if it was like pressure like I felt like I had to push. I thought it did and she called the resident. He came in with a girl who had been following him around to learn.

The resident then checked to see where I was at. Only 9 centimeters...ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!! He asked if it felt better if I tried to push as the pain was coming back a lot now. It did sorta so he was having me fake push. I was really not pushing but going though the hold my breath sorta push motions. After he left the pain came back ten fold and my hip started hurting again. Again a lot of honey I can't do this. I think something is wrong. I thought the epidural was suppose to help with the pain. Make it stop. Why is this happening again. I can't do this again please just make them take him out. After a few minuets he called the nurse again and she called for the anesthesiologist. Once the anesthesiologist came in they did the cold test and once again I could feel the cold. By now I'm sure you guessed it but yes they bolised me again and this time gave me something extra to help with the pressure. I felt a lot better right away.

Here is where I will have to tell you what I remember and what I have been told. I remember laying back and just wanting to go to sleep and the hearing the wonderful nurse say, Kim something we are doing the baby is not liking I need you to roll over to your left side, now your back, now your right side. Then asking my husbands to hit the call button and ask them to send in the doctor. She then asked me to get on all fours. I remember it being very hard to do and asking in I could lean on my arms as the IV was hurting in my hand and her saying yes. I put my head down on the pillow also. I also remember that every time I closed my eyes all I saw was darkness and a little light at the end of it.

What I didn't know at the time was that the baby's heart rate had gone from 150 to 40 and that my blood pressure had gone from around 170/96 to 102/60.

I remember the resident coming into the room and asking me to roll back over and telling me that they were going to insert an internal heart monitor on the baby to find his heartbeat. By this time there was the anesthesiologist, the resident, the lady who had been following him around, my nurse, a few other nurses and the doctor. I wasn't scared at the time I really just wanted to close my eyes and sleep but when ever I did the darkness with the little light would come back. I remember wondering if I was going to see my dad who had passed away the year before in August. I also remember that every time I closed my eyes my husband and the nurse would start yelling my name and shaking my shoulder. I kept hearing Kim we need you to stay with us. Kim we need you to stay awake. This felt like it went on forever and I am sure even longer for my husband but after a few short scary minuets everything came back to the way it should be. The doctor was there and ready to do a c section but the baby's heart rate came back up to normal and my blood pressure went back up. I was able to get some sleep but not good sleep.

As far as seeing the light at the end of the dark tunnel I'm not really sure if it was or was not anything. This is how I remember it and I remember waiting to see my dad. I haven't told a lot of people this. My mom and husband are the only people and I told them a few weeks after it happened. My husband cried and said he was scared he was going to lose me. Apparently he was scared I would be leaving the room on a crash cart. My mom was calmer and said dad and god were looking out. It wasn't your time. She then mentioned getting a picture of my dad for my son and that although he will never meet him at least he will know him. I wonder if my dad visited him instead of me that morning. Something we will never know.

Induction starts

A little before midnight on the 29th we were taken back to a labor and delivery room where the magnesium sulfate was started. The doctors then came in to insert the first pill. Then the nurse put in the catheter. They tell you that feels like a little pinch, they lie. It hurts! My husband and I tried to get some sleep while we could knowing that we could have a long night ahead of us. I was going to have to get my blood taken every four hours (at least that is what I think it was but it might have been six) and we could have a long night a head of us.

After about five hours the doctors came in to recheck my cervix and see how I was doing. Yes five hours because there were a lot of women there having babies that night. There was still no change so another pill was inserted.

Back to sleep, resting for the hubby and I.

After another four or so hours I was checked again and there was still no to very little change. Yep you guessed it another pill. At this point we told that they normally only do three to four doses of the pill. The actual doctor came in to tell us that the baby will becoming today, Wednesday the 29th no matter what. It was up to the baby weather he came by choice or was going to be evicted. They were worried about my blood pressure.

They thought it best seeing as there was really no change to go ahead with one last dose of the pill. The last pill was put in and back to resting we went. Around 5pm I woke up from a good nap thinking I peed myself. Thoughts going through my head...omg! I just peed myself, wait I have a catheter in I can't pee myself, maybe the catheter came out, holy --it I think my water broke! Then there was a very loud "honey honey I think my water broke!!!" My husband woke up and looked to see if thats what happened. He said yes your water broke and we called the nurse. 

No, this stuff does not bother my husband at all. He used to be an EMT and is a volunteer fire fighter. He has seen some very terrible things. 

The nurse came in and also checked and verified that my water had broke. She then changed all the bedding pads I was laying on and explained that I was now in "active labor". She called the doctor and they decided not to start the pitocin to see if now that I was in labor that my body would do its thing on its own.

After about an hour I asked to see if I could get the epidural. I could not get out of bed because of the magnesium sulfate so there was nothing I could do to help with the contractions. The nurse came in and said yes it was okay to get the epidural and called for the anesthesiologist.

A short time later the anesthesiologist came in to put in the epidural. This was a challenge as I had been laying in bed for almost 19 hours at this point and needed to sit of the side of the bed, while having contractions and feeling out of it because of the mag sulfate. I did it with a lot of help from my husband and the nurse. The epidural was put in and I felt a lot better right away. With how quickly I felt it working the doctor was worried that it had gone in too far and that it was actually a spinal. Another person was sent in to start the medicine into the epidural so that it would continue to work. Because they thought it was in too far and a spinal the dose of the medicine had to be lower because other wise I would stop breathing. Okay... And the fun begins. 

After about 3 hours they came into check me again to see if there was any change. I was about 3 centimeters at this point and they said no pitocin but then changed their mind and decided to start it. I could start to feel the contractions again and could feel when they were checking my cervix and it was very painful. The nurse called to have the anesthesiologist come in and check me. I could feel the cold and pain sensation again so they realized that it was not a spinal but an epidural and uped the dose of medicine and bolised me. That helped a lot. 

Side note. Taking my blood was not an easy task as the if was in my right hand so they could only use the left and I was so swollen it was hard for them to find a vein. I have learned that getting your blood taken from the vein between you knuckles hurts the worst. 

The start at the hospital

On our way to the hospital I kept asking my husband if he was ready. He said we were as ready as we were going to be and if we had him that night we would be fine. I knew he was right.

We arrived at the hospital and went to the labor and delivery check in. I was very nervous which I knew was going to make my blood pressure higher or stay high so I was trying very hard to calm down. I was sent to the triage area where they connected me to the non stress test machine and a blood pressure cuff. My blood pressure would go up and down and at one point got to 170/96. The nurse joked that I was trying to stay and have a baby that night. I really wasn't I was trying to relax but I think at this point I was way too anxious, scared, excited, and nervous to calm down.

The hospital was very busy with women who were in active labor. I think this is why they kept me on the monitor from around 5pm until about 11:30 pm when they came in to tell us they plan. It was a resident who came in as the doctor was busy delivering babies. She said that she had spoken to the doctor and at this point they felt the best thing for me and the baby was to start inducing me. I was 38 weeks and 4 days. She then started to explain that they would be giving me magnesium sulfate to stop me from seizing due to my blood pressure being so high and that by being on this I would have to have a catheter put in right a way. It did not really set it until my husband asked if this meant I couldn't get out of bed. She explained that while on the magnesium sulfate that I would be stuck in bed. This had me in tears. I held the down right balling until she left but I had tears in my eyes the moment I understood.  I had a plan of having no plan other than I wanted to go into the tub or the shower while I was in labor, not lay in a bed and then go from there on all the other stuff like pain meds. This changed that. I was thinking before all of this if I could make it to 9 centimeters I would try to do it without pain meds, however I was not apposed to getting them.

I was going to have a pill (sorry I don't remember what it was called) put up near my cervix to soften the cervix. The pill can take several doses before it starts to work. They insert the pill every four hours and you can get up to four doses. The meds were started at 12am Wednesday morning.

Every woman is different when it comes to labour and how their body changes. I think my son would have gone late if it where not for the induction but we will never know. I had not changed at all when we had gotten to the hospital that night. I was completely closed.

The beginning

Where to even start...I started blogging a few years ago. My goal was to blog about trying to do 30 new things before I turned 30. I did do the 30 new things but I was not very good about blogging about them. This time I really want to stick with it and share some things I have learned along the way about becoming a mom. Yes I know there are a ton of websites, other blogs, books and your friends but if one person can learn something from me that I wish I would have know it will be worth it. Plus it might help me get some advice back.

I took all the classes the recommended us to take but what I learned after going through it is that there is still a lot of stuff they don't tell you. My blood pressure was very high towards the end of my pregnancy and I was taken out of work 5 weeks before my son was due. Every Tuesday my after noon consisted of going to the doctors office for a non stress test and every Friday my morning was spent having an ultra sound, non stress test and seeing a doctor. For those of you who do not know what a non stress is, they strap two straps with monitors on them to your belly. One tells them the baby's heart beat and the other tells them if there is any uterin activity or contractions

On Tuesday May 28th I woke up and let my 3 dogs outside. My little seven pound dogs leash had broken and I didn't realize it. When I did, she had taken off out of my yard. Thankfully a nice lady had stopped her car and was chasing her back into my neighbor's yard when I stated running to the front to go try to find her. Yes I was running at 38 weeks and 4 days pregnant. I was freaking out beyond belief. Those pregnancy hormones will get you every time. Even more so when your dog runs away when you think of her as more of a child. After getting her back inside and calming down it was time to eat some lunch and head to the doctors office.

When I arrived at the doctor's office, the elevator was broken and I had to walk up the stairs to their second floor office. The first thing they always did was check my blood pressure. It was very high. We figured it was because I had to climb the stairs so they were going to have the nurse check it after I had been sitting for a while during the non stress test. The nurse came in to set up the test, while doing that she did tell me if my blood pressure stayed that high they would most likely be sending me to the hospital to be monitored and possibly to have the baby. I sat there trying very hard to relax and texting my husband to let him know what was going on. At the end of the test it was still very high so the doctors told me to go to the hospital after and that the on call doctor would be expecting us. I was told I could go home and get my husband and my bags just in case. When I got home I took a shower (thankfully) and shaved. I kept asking my husband what does one wear to the hospital when they could be having a baby tonight. He laughed and said I don't think it matters. I finally found some comfy clothes and we were off.

I had called my sister and my mom to let them know what was going on. My husband called his family shortly after we arrived at the hospital.

I was terrified and a little sad. I was not ready for him to come yet. I had not reached that point that most people do where they can't wait to have the baby. I even cried a little on the way to the hospital. I was excited to meet him but I was not ready.