About three hours later a friend had stopped in to see me and my husband went out to talk to her boyfriend for a little while. During the time she was there the pain started again. She had to text my husband to come back in the room. When he got back they called the nurse and she came in and then called the doctor to come check me. I'm not sure why but once again this set off the pain even more. It's a pain that really can not be described. I kept telling my husband and the nurse that I couldn't do it. I could feel the contractions and my left hip hurt so bad I could not get comfy at all. I tried moving very which way nothing seemed to make it go away. The nurse called the anesthesiologist and they came to check me. Mean while there was a lot of me crying and telling them that I couldn't do it. Thankfully the nurse and my husband were great and helped me get through the minuets until doctor could come check the epidural.
When the doctor finally arrived (I say finally because to me if felt like a life time) they checked and I could feel the cold again. What I mean by this as I don't think I explained before, is they take an ice cube and put it on your legs and belly. With the epidural you should be able to tell they are touching you but not that it is cold. Again they bolised me and I was able to calm down and relax some. The pain in my hip went away.
Around three a.m. I told my husband I was starting to feel a lot of pressure and that it was starting to hurt again. He called the nurse to have her come in to check on me. (I'm not really sure how those nurses do it as I felt like we called her into our room all the time that night) She came into ask if it was like pressure like I felt like I had to push. I thought it did and she called the resident. He came in with a girl who had been following him around to learn.
The resident then checked to see where I was at. Only 9 centimeters...ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!! He asked if it felt better if I tried to push as the pain was coming back a lot now. It did sorta so he was having me fake push. I was really not pushing but going though the hold my breath sorta push motions. After he left the pain came back ten fold and my hip started hurting again. Again a lot of honey I can't do this. I think something is wrong. I thought the epidural was suppose to help with the pain. Make it stop. Why is this happening again. I can't do this again please just make them take him out. After a few minuets he called the nurse again and she called for the anesthesiologist. Once the anesthesiologist came in they did the cold test and once again I could feel the cold. By now I'm sure you guessed it but yes they bolised me again and this time gave me something extra to help with the pressure. I felt a lot better right away.
Here is where I will have to tell you what I remember and what I have been told. I remember laying back and just wanting to go to sleep and the hearing the wonderful nurse say, Kim something we are doing the baby is not liking I need you to roll over to your left side, now your back, now your right side. Then asking my husbands to hit the call button and ask them to send in the doctor. She then asked me to get on all fours. I remember it being very hard to do and asking in I could lean on my arms as the IV was hurting in my hand and her saying yes. I put my head down on the pillow also. I also remember that every time I closed my eyes all I saw was darkness and a little light at the end of it.
What I didn't know at the time was that the baby's heart rate had gone from 150 to 40 and that my blood pressure had gone from around 170/96 to 102/60.
I remember the resident coming into the room and asking me to roll back over and telling me that they were going to insert an internal heart monitor on the baby to find his heartbeat. By this time there was the anesthesiologist, the resident, the lady who had been following him around, my nurse, a few other nurses and the doctor. I wasn't scared at the time I really just wanted to close my eyes and sleep but when ever I did the darkness with the little light would come back. I remember wondering if I was going to see my dad who had passed away the year before in August. I also remember that every time I closed my eyes my husband and the nurse would start yelling my name and shaking my shoulder. I kept hearing Kim we need you to stay with us. Kim we need you to stay awake. This felt like it went on forever and I am sure even longer for my husband but after a few short scary minuets everything came back to the way it should be. The doctor was there and ready to do a c section but the baby's heart rate came back up to normal and my blood pressure went back up. I was able to get some sleep but not good sleep.
As far as seeing the light at the end of the dark tunnel I'm not really sure if it was or was not anything. This is how I remember it and I remember waiting to see my dad. I haven't told a lot of people this. My mom and husband are the only people and I told them a few weeks after it happened. My husband cried and said he was scared he was going to lose me. Apparently he was scared I would be leaving the room on a crash cart. My mom was calmer and said dad and god were looking out. It wasn't your time. She then mentioned getting a picture of my dad for my son and that although he will never meet him at least he will know him. I wonder if my dad visited him instead of me that morning. Something we will never know.
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